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Why Programmer Concentration is Important

Peter van der Linden

The ability to concentrate is probably the most important quality that a good programmer must have. To program well, you must be able to focus on what you are doing to the exclusion of everything else, just as a dog becomes very single-minded about his food dish at supper time. That reminds me of the old Silicon valley marketing proverb to the effect of "don't eat the dog food you serve".

The proverb means "if you can't lie, you shouldn't work in marketing." It also means that when you do work in marketing, you shouldn't swallow the lies that other marketeers will tell you. Luckily, I don't work in marketing, and nor will most readers, so I can give away their most terrible secrets to programmers. Don't tell anyone it was me, though.

One Sunday a few months ago, I had gone into work at the weekend to finish up an urgent job, and I had taken my dalmatian dog (Pixel) with me. It's nice to have some company, and Pixel gets restless every hour or so, so we both take a brief break, walk round the building, throw a ball, get a drink of water, and soon the hairy, panting creature is once again refreshed. I think Pixel enjoys the break too.

On this Sunday as Pixel and I were walking round the office building, I noticed that one of the marketing managers was also present at work. Now, just between you and I, the "don't eat the dog food you serve" comment isn't the only difference between marketing people and programming people. Sometimes the two groups have such different perspectives that relations can be a little strained. Engineers usually have a firm grip on reality, whereas some marketeers can only maintain a slippery grip on the Fantasyland inside their cheerful little pointy heads. So I thought I'd say a cheerful hello, build some bridges, make a few pleasant remarks, and make the world a better place.

That was the plan, anyway.
No sooner did I enter the marketing manager's office with Pixel at my heels, than she threw her lunch up all over the floor. My dog Pixel I mean, not the marketing manager. Pixel just open her mouth wide, then yakked a pretty good load of partly-digested goop onto the marketing manager's carpet and shoes. (What is that icky yellow stuff in dog barf, by the way?). This wasn't just a small barf. This was a major hurl, a "pavement pizza" in extra large size.

Well, it raised some pretty ticklish questions of protocol, let me tell you. Granted, it wasn't quite in the same league as President Bush glorfed all over the Japanese prime minister (Bush did not then say "S'Funny, I don' remember eatin' that!" as some reports have it). But it was a long way from the cheerful outcome I had intended. You go into someone's office to spread some sunshine, but instead you put puke on the parquet. Life's like that sometimes.

There was a stunned silence, then the office filled with a labored wheezing that gradually rose into a hideous cackling laugh. For a minute I thought things were going to be fine. Then the marketing manager snapped out "what are you laughing at?" and I fell silent. My face was still stuck in a ghastly smile which was rapidly fading. Have you ever noticed that when you're at a loss for something to say, you sometimes blurt out the first thing that comes into your head, even if it isn't completely appropriate?

When I say "you", I mean "me" of course. The phrase that sprang into my head was the old marketing adage. Before I could stop myself, the words had slid down my brain stem, onto my tongue, and escaped through my clenched teeth. I heard myself saying "Well, don't eat the dog food you serve, eh?" After that I couldn't seem to stop. "You are what you eat!" I announced, rapidly followed by "You can't teach an old dog new tricks!" then "Eat lunch, or be lunch." After what seemed like three days, but actually couldn't have been any more than a few hours, I ran out of epigrams and breath. The three of us, man, beast, and my dog of course just stared at each other.

There is no one "right" way to cope with this situation. However, most people would agree that there are several wrong ways, and my approach certainly turned out to be one of them, ha ha ha! They say that it's a long road that has no turning, that too many cooks spoil the broth, and that a stitch in time saves nine, but I notice they never say anything about what to do in this kind of situation. To cut a short story even shorter, eventually we smoothed over the unpleasantness, and to this day the personnel department sends out memos every quarter, nagging everyone not to bring their pets into work. I have papered the floor under my desk with these memos, and Pixel has made quite a nice den down there by chewing them into scraps.

I suppose some people might hold me partly responsible for the loss of concentration on that day. I forget what we were talking about originally here, but, yes, I would certainly place the ability to mentally "block out" distractions pretty high on the list of desirable qualities for a marketing manager. That, and washable shoes.