True
Life
Grit
from
Column
8
[Column 8 by year]
[My favourites]
[Other Herald Items]
Column
8
by
year
Items
appearing
in
Column
8
in
The
Sydney
Morning
Herald
Newspaper,
by
year:
1995,
1996,
2001,
2002
| 1 Aug 1996 | - The
key
to
selling
a
property
is
its
adaptability.
For
example,
this
mutli-use
feature
of
an
Elanora
Heights
estate,
advertised
in
The
Manly
Daily:
"Outside
is
a
purpose-built
dam
that
doubles
as
a
swimming
pool,
stable,
workman's
shed
and
a
tennis
court".
|
| 3 Oct 1996 | - Take
your
pick.
Edward
Ricards,
of
Greenway,
ACT,
reports
that
the
post
office
in
the
Tuggeranong
Hyperdome
shopping
centre
has
two
posting
slots.
One
is
labelled
ALL
MAIL.
The
other
is
labelled
ALL
OTHER
MAIL.
|
| 23 Jul 2001 | - Having
bought
an
older-style
apartment
in
Mosman,
Sally
and
Brett
Siebold
began
steaming
off
the
horrid
wallpaper
-
purple
with
stripes
and
flowers
-
from
the
second
bedroom.
They
were
probably
not
the
first
to
be
repulsed
by
the
covering,
which
they
suspect
dated
back
to
the
1950s.
"We
were
removing
the
last
metre
of
wallpaper
when
my
husband
practically
fell
down
laughing.
There
on
the
wall,
written
in
pen,
obviously
just
before
the
wallpaper
was
hung,
was
a
message
from
that
tradesman
or
husband
that
said
it
all:
'So
you
didn't
like
it
either.
It's
shit,
isn't
it?'
"
| |
| 31 Aug 2001 | - More
tough
telephones
(Column
8,
yesterday).
After
burning
the
stubble
left
after
the
harvesting
of
his
canola
crop,
Peter
Slatter,
of
Holbrook,
realised
he
had
lost
his
mobile.
"Two
days
later,
standing
in
the
middle
of
an
800-acre
paddock,
admiring
our
handiwork,
we
heard
from
behind
us
a
faint
rumbling
and
turned
to
see
the
phone,
trying
to
ring.
Burnt,
melted
and
with
dirt
and
stubble
melted
into
the
phone,
it
was
still
working
a
treat.
It
had
survived
the
fire,
rain
and
two
nights
out
in
the
open.
We
used
it
for
a
number
of
weeks
before
we
were
convinced
to
upgrade."
|
| 5 Sep 2001 | - Exploring
the
city
with
his
grandmother
on
Monday,
Sam
Kendall,
5,
of
Bondi
Junction,
came
across
a
military-style
armoured
car
and
a
row
of
jeeps
parked
outside
the
Sheraton
on
the
Park.
Grandma,
Kerry
Watson,
of
Moree,
said
Sam
was
studying
the
military
hardware
when
a
man
suddenly
appeared.
"We
are
going
for
a
drive,"
he
announced,
asking
if
the
little
fellow
would
like
to
join
him.
Moments
later
Sam
was
aboard
the
armoured
car,
riding
wide-eyed
through
the
streets
of
Sydney
with
billionaire
Sir
Richard
Branson,
in
town
for
a
Virgin
Mobile
promotion.
Grandma
followed
in
a
jeep.
- A
Vodaphone
customer
service
operator
received
a
call
the
other
day
from
a
man
who
couldn't
connect
to
the
network.
Only
after
vainly
trying
all
the
usual
trouble-shooting
techniques
did
the
caller
mention
he
had
dropped
his
phone
into
the
dishwasher.
However,
he
was
sure
that
could
not
have
been
the
problem
because
he
had
dried
it
in
the
microwave.
|
| 14 Oct 2001 | - Perhaps
the
last
innocence-of-childhood
comment
on
the
elections.
Six-year-old
Eleanor
accompanied
her
mother
to
a
Drummoyne
polling
booth
on
Saturday.
After
collecting
and
scrutinising
all
the
how-to-vote
leaflets,
she
exclaimed:
"OK,
now
where
do
we
bet?"
|
Other
Herald
Items
Many
readers
have
already
responded
to
our
request
to
list
five
items
that
would
symbolise
modern
Australia
and
fit
in
a
container
34cm
long
by
17cm
square.
Several
readers
pointed
out
that
our
original
suggestion
-
Pauline
Hanson's
head
-
is
no
longer
appropriate,
because
it
has
become
so
swollen
in
recent
weeks
that
it
would
not
fit.
[Sydney
Morning
Herald
??
Sep
1996,
Stay-in-Touch
column,
p.
26]
[...
Discussion
of
Isaac
Asimov's
laws
of
robotics
...]
In
a
later
Asimov
book,
a
robot
developed
a
fourth
law,
which
supposedly
transcended
the
other
three
-
that
a
robot
must
protect
humanity
as
a
whole
above
all
else,
which
presumably
gives
robots
permission
to
injure
individual
humans
who
are
jeopardising
the
future
of
the
race
-
polluters,
for
example,
or
radio
talkback
hosts.
[Sydney
Morning
Herald
18
Sep
1996,
Stay-in-Touch
column,
p.
26]
Last
month
in
Norway,
for
instance,
two
men
had
a
great
plan
for
a
$2
million
robbery.
Problem
was,
the
police
had
a
copy.
In
March,
police
found
the
detailed
plans
in
an
unclaimed
suitcase
which
two
Swedish
bandits
had
lost
at
Oslo's
airport.
Six
months
later,
when
the
men
tried
to
rob
the
postal
service's
cash
transport,
30
armed
police,
a
helicopter
and
fleet
of
police
cars
were
waiting.
Both
were
arrested.[...]
At
least
all
the
bandits
mentioned
thus
far
are
alive.
The
same
can't
be
said
of
an
anonymous
New
York
State
thief.
Last
month,
this
burglar
and
an
accomplice
tried
to
break
into
the
safe
of
a
real
estate
and
insurance
office.
Upon
failing,
they
tried
to
carry
it
down
a
flight
of
stairs.
The
burglar's
body
was
found
at
the
bottom
of
the
stairs,
under
the
safe.
It
contained
only
insurance
forms,
but
weighed
272
kg.
[Sydney
Morning
Herald
31
Oct
1996,
Stay-in-Touch
column,
p.
24
]
Fifteen
years
until
we'll
be
flying
to
Mars
(Herald,
December
11).
Has
the
Government
considered
the
Mars
Option?Don't
laugh.
Our
English
forebears
sent
us
white
folks
to
what
was
effectively
Mars
just
over
200
years
ago.
Bloody
happy
they
did,
too,
to
tell
you
the
truth.
It's
bloody
cold
over
here
and,
let's
face
it,
Mars
has
got
to
be
better
than
Afghanistan.
I
say
we
start
planning
now.
Those
refugees
will
be
thanking
us
in
200
years'
time
and
probably
beating
us
at
cricket.
I'm
not
one
for
conspiracy
theories,
but
I
wouldn't
put
it
past
John
Howard
to
be
one
step
ahead
of
the
game.
Aren't
some
of
the
refugees
locked
up
out
near
the
Woomera
rocket
range?
John
Howard
has
also
probably
done
a
deal
with
the
Martians
to
smooth
the
way
for
the
new
arrivals.
He's
a
modern
man,
is
our
Prime
Minister.
--
John
Hopkins,
London,
11
December
2001.
[Sydney
Morning
Herald,
letters,
11
Jan
2002]
A
song
and
tanks
man:
Phnom
Penh:
Cambodia's
Prime
Minister
Hun
Sen
has
introduced
a
new
weapon
in
the
Government's
war
on
karaoke
bars
-
tanks.
He
has
told
the
military
to
use
tanks
if
the
bars
ignore
a
national
order
to
close.
-
Reuters.
[Sydney
Morning
Herald
27
Dec
2001,
p.
11]
Family
Troubles:
Rachel
Roberts
(Herald,
Jan
3)
defended
those
couples
choosing
to
remain
unencumbered
with
children.
However,
I
remain
troubled.
A
character
in
a
James
Elroy
novel,
in
similar
disbelief,
said
it
all:
"But
what
do
you
do
for
aggravation?"
--
Mike
Fogart,
Concord,
January
3
[Sydney
Morning
Herald,
letters,
9
Jan
2002
p.9]
During
a
bout
of
sleepwalking
one
night
as
a
15-year-old
I
mistook
a
dorm
mate
for
a
bomb.
I
dragged
him
off
his
bed
and
along
the
floor,
opened
the
door,
placed
him
underneath
the
snooker
table
outside
and
told
everyone
to
get
down
because
he
was
about
to
blow
up.
Failing
to
observe
the
rule
that
you
must
never
wake
a
sleepwalker,
the
rest
of
the
dormitory
gave
me
a
rude
awakening.
--
From
an
article
by
Will
Hodgkinson,
Sydney
Morning
Herald,
27
Sep
2002
p.13
Dwarf's
case
tossed
Despite
Manuel
Wackenheim's
best
efforts,
dwarf-throwing
is
still
illegal
in
France.
The
vertically
challenged
stuntman
--
116
cm
tall
--
failed
in
his
appeal
against
a
1995
ruling
that
outlawed
throwing
dwarfs
around,
the
British
tabloid
Daily
Star
reports.
The
ban
came
after
a
bar-room
craze
that
involved
a
dwarf
donning
a
crash
helmet
and
padded
clothing
and
being
thrown
around
a
night-club
dancing
floor.
Wackenheim
argued
that
the
ban
was
a
discriminatory
law
which
prevented
him
from
getting
a
job
as
a
human
projectile.
The
United
Nations
Human
Rights
Comittee
threw
it
out
of
court
--
Wackenheim's
case,
that
is
--
saying
the
ban
was
"necessary
in
order
to
protect
public
order,
including
considerations
of
human
dignity".
[Sydney
Morning
Herald,
Spike
column,
1
Oct
2002
p.20]
