Hospital
records
reveal
slippers
as
Britain's
most
dangerous
clothing,
involved
in
more
home
accidents
than
glass,
nails
and
scalding
pipes.
Victims
fell
down
stairs,
broke
toes
putting
them
on
or
were
bitten
wrestling
them
from
the
dog.
Archaeologists
in
London
have
discovered
the
remains
of
what
is
believed
to
be
Britain's
oldest
banana,
estimated
to
be
500
years
old.
The
find
is
among
mediaeval
and
Tudor
remains
discovered
at
the
dig
in
disused
mediaeval
fish
tanks.
Parents
were
outraged
when
a
Florida
middle
school
scheduled
a
cross-dressing
day
as
part
of
a
fun-themed
week.
One
father
said
his
son
had
refused
to
go
to
school
unless
he
took
him
shopping
for
a
dress.
Three
men
landed
in
hospital
instead
of
the
record
books
after
a
chilli-eating
contest
at
Legaspi
in
the
Philippines.
Bert
Gonzales,
who
ate
300
chillies,
Grison
Nacion,
167,
and
Geronimo
Milesa,
150,
were
treated
for
gastritis
and
high
blood
pressure.
The
reclusive
Baduy
people
of
the
highland
jungles
of
west
Java
have
won
the
right
not
to
vote
in
the
7
June
Indonesia
polls.
Politics
is
banned
by
their
religion
-
along
with
the
wheel,
toothpaste,
electricity,
poisoning
fish,
and
touching
the
breasts
of
a
virgin.
For
nine
years
after
the
discovery
of
a
human
skull
on
an
island
in
Lake
Huron,
Ontario
Provincial
Police
hunted
for
murder
suspects.
They
have
now
closed
the
case,
having
determined
that
the
female
remains
are
900
years
old.
A
new
British
report
has
found
that
workers
find
problems
with
their
computers
more
stressful
than
a
weekend
with
the
in-laws.
One
in
eight
people
say
computer
failure
is
more
stressful
than
being
left
by
a
partner.
A
traffic
policeman
in
the
Greek
town
of
Patras
issued
a
ticket
to
a
parrot
that
he
believed
was
obstructing
the
pavement.
The
feathered
offender,
perched
on
a
stand
outside
a
pet
shop,
promptly
tore
the
ticket
up.
Colorado
has
passed
a
law
to
reduce
rural
distractions
after
city
people
complained
that
country
weekends
were
being
ruined
by
farm
noises
and
smells.
Farmers
can
face
fines
of
$A900
or
more
for
having
animals
that
offend.
A
shopkeeper
arrested
by
an
Iranian
judge,
who
believed
the
man
had
winked
at
his
wife
while
serving
them,
was
found
to
suffer
from
a
squint.
The
arrest
sparked
riots
in
the
southern
town
of
Qir.
Romanian
prostitutes,
hit
by
the
recession,
are
offering
extra
services
that
include
household
chores.
Said
one:
"The
girls
help
them
get
rid
of
the
three
things
that
torment
their
lives
sex,
cleaning
and
cooking."
Ukranian
rail
authorities
have
changed
the
number
of
an
express
train
from
the
"satanic"
666
following
complaints
from
Christian
passengers
concerned
at
boarding
the
train
from
Luhansk
to
Simferopol.
It
was
changed
to
242.
The
famous
statue
of
Jesus
Christ
looming
over
Rio
de
Janeiro
appears
on
key
chains
and
T-shirts.
But
the
Catholic
Church
has
drawn
the
line
on
companies
using
the
image
for
advertising
beer
and
underwear.
Police
had
little
trouble
finding
a
fingerprint
of
a
thief
who
broke
into
a
carpenter's
workshop
in
Spain.
The
theif
left
behind
his
finger,
which
he
cut
off
on
a
piece
of
carpentry
equipment.
Police
arrested
the
suspect
at
a
clinic.
A
London
housewife,
frustrated
by
her
long-running
battle
to
get
her
washing
machine
fixed,
held
a
repair
man
hostage
for
three
hours
until
she
got
it
replaced.
Police
were
called
in
to
help
negotiate
the
release
of
the
engineer.
Granite
Falls,
Washington,
will
celebrate
the
opening
of
its
first
public
restroom
with
the
two-day
Toilet
Festival,
including
a
ceremonial
tearing
of
toilet
paper
and
a
draw
for
the
honor
of
christening
the
commode.
Beethoven's
Ode
to
Joy
was
barred
from
a
Teheran
music
festival
because
it
uses
the
female
voice.
Women's
voices
are
forbidden
"according
to
the
Islamic
laws
in
force
in
our
country,"
said
Fereydun
Nasseri,
head
of
the
Terehan
Philiharmonic
Orchestra.
Normally
peaceful
storks
have
gone
berserk
in
the
Polish
villate
of
Stubienko,
killing
chickens,
ducks
and
even
turkeys.
So
far
600
chickens
have
been
killed
by
the
storks,
usually
well-liked
as
bearers
of
glad
tidings.
Colombian
bureaucracy
proved
fatal
for
a
man,
87,
who
died
of
a
heart
attack
as
he
waited
in
line
to
collect
a
government
certificate
to
prove
he
was
still
alive
so
he
could
continue
to
draw
his
monthly
pension.
Cuban
artist
Felix
Gonzales-Torres'
latest
work
should
thrill
art
lovers.
He
laid
out
650
kilos
of
chocolate
caramels
in
London's
Serpentine
Gallery.
Visitors
can
eat
the
exhibit,
Untitled
(Placebo),
which
will
be
replenished
daily.
A
Keyman
who
had
been
beaten
up
was
carried
into
a
bank
on
a
stretcher
after
a
hospital
refused
to
treat
him
because
he
could
not
pay.
Unfortumatley
the
man
had
forgotten
to
bring
his
bank
card,
so
the
bank
would
not
give
him
any
money.
Canned
insects.
Thailand's
latest
innovation
in
processed
foods,
proved
popular
at
an
exhibition
in
Bangkok.
Fried
grasshoppers
have
long
been
sold
by
Bangkok
street
stalls
but
it
is
hoped
the
canned
variety
will
make
them
appeal
to
the
export
market.
A
fire-eating
stripper
is
spitting
fire,
after
failing
a
police
breath
test
in
England.
The
man
says
it
was
not
alcohol
that
sent
him
over
the
limit
but
the
95
per
cent
surgical
spirit
he
used
to
spit
on
flaming
torches
on
stage.
Two
brothers
living
in
Saudi
Arabia
literally
bumped
into
each
other
after
a
21-year
separation
when
they
crashed
their
cars
and
got
into
an
argument.
They
discovered
they
were
brothers
when
a
traffic
policeman
was
taking
down
their
details.
Swaziland's
parliamentary
Speaker
has
been
asked
to
resign
for
taking
cow
dung
from
the
royal
yard.
The
Speaker,
who
claimed
he
had
dreams
warning
that
King
Mswati
III
was
in
danger,
insists
he
took
the
cow
dung
to
perform
rituals
to
protect
the
king.
A
Swedish
man
escaped
unharmed
from
a
blaze
at
his
remote
hunting
cabin
in
central
Sweden,
but
froze
to
death
as
he
fled,
naked,
on
a
snowmobile.
Officials
in
a
traffic-congested
Philippines
city
have
come
up
with
an
embarrassing
punishment
for
jaywalkers
...
making
them
sing
the
national
anthem
in
public.
A
city
ordinance
requires
jaywalkers
to
either
sing
or
pay
a
50-peso
(A$1.95)
fine.
Letter-writers
have
been
dogged
by
bad
luck
in
a
Yorkshire
park,
mistakenly
posting
their
letters
in
a
red
dog-waste
bin.
The
box
should
have
been
green,
but
a
local
buiilding
firm
supplied
a
red
one
instead.
Sensing
bad
publicity
and
worse
jokes,
New
York
City
announced
that
it
will
no
longer
assign
welfare
recipients
in
a
work-for-the-dole
scheme
to
jobs
with
the
Psychic
Network,
a
business
that
offers
callers
clairvoyance
at
$US4.99
a
minute.
Argentina's
notoriously
uncivil
public
servants
should
be
wearing
a
smile
and
racing
to
answer
queries
after
President
Fernando
de
la
Rua
signed
a
decree
making
surly
service
illegal.
The
decree
did
not
specify
how
unruly
public
servants
would
be
punished.
Canada
will
consider
scrapping
an
old
provincial
law
that
offers
hunters
a
bounty
for
Indian
scalps,
after
complaints
by
native
groups.
The
Nova
Scotia
Government
has
asked
Ottawa
to
confirm
that
the
1756
law
is
no
longer
in
effect.
Thieves
in
northern
Serbia
have
a
new
way
of
stealing
the
washing
...
they
throw
cats
in
the
air
to
catch
it.
The
thieves
pick
clothes
hanging
from
a
window
and
throw
a
cat
in
the
air,
which
instinctively
grabs
the
garments
with
its
claws
dragging
it
down.
A
councillor
will
carry
on
delivering
party
leaflets
to
voters'
homes
despite
losing
part
of
her
finger.
Birmingham
city
councillor
Margaret
Wells
lost
the
top
section
of
her
right
index
finger
to
a
dog
lurking
behind
a
door
as
she
pushed
a
leaflet
through.
US
students
committing
minor
infractions
at
Eastern
Connecticut
State
University
now
face
punishment
by
Puccini.
About
50
students
will
be
force-fed
Tosca
performances
for
offences
including
violating
a
campus
ban
on
alcohol.
A
group
of
women
stormed
a
Kenyan
police
station
to
demand
officers
either
make
love
to
them
or
close
illegal
drinking
dens
that
they
said
made
their
husbands
impotent.
A
British
taxi
driver
lost
his
licence
after
a
mother
and
her
friend
claimed
he
packed
them
in
the
boot.
He
insisted
he
needed
the
extra
space
to
pick
up
more
passengers.
The
women
agreed
because
they
feared
they
wouldn't
be
able
to
get
another
taxi.
A
rabbit
brought
as
an
Easter
present
for
a
family
in
England
escaped
during
the
night
and
ate
the
children's
chocolate
eggs.
The
family
woke
to
the
sight
of
giant-eared
Floppy
looking
bloated,
face
covered
in
chocolate
and
too
fat
to
move.
An
English
milkman
was
gobsmacked
when
thieves
stole
his
false
teeth
from
his
van.
But
he
got
them
back
after
a
regular
customer
recognised
the
gnashers.
He
normally
stores
his
teeth
with
his
sandwiches
in
a
box
and
pops
them
in
when
speaking
to
customers
.
A
nine-tonne,
23-kilometre
pork
sausage
has
won
the
15
butchers
of
Langogne,
France,
a
world
record.
At
23,160
metres,
the
sausage
beat
the
previous
record,
held
by
British
butchers,
by
1160
metres.
Two
hundred
pigs
died
for
the
record.
A
newspaper
advertisement
for
a
hermit
has
prompted
a
flood
of
replies
from
people
eager
to
ditch
stressed-out
modern
life.
The
successful
applicant
will
live
in
a
cave
on
the
grounds
of
an
English
estate
and
abandon
all
human
contact,
except
for
scaring
visitors.
[9
Aug
2002]
Six
robbers
armed
with
just
a
single
gun
between
them
stole
more
than
one
million
condoms
while
raiding
a
medical
warehouse
in
Russia's
second
city
of
St
Petersburg.
[8
Aug
2002]
Security
staff
at
a
US
airport
confiscated
a
5cm
plastic
rifle
from
a
GI
Joe
doll
a
woman
had
in
her
carry-on
luggage.
The
woman
was
told
that
if
she
wanted
GI
Joe
to
keep
his
rifle,
she
would
have
to
check
in
again
and
put
the
toy
in
her
suitcase
so
it
could
go
in
the
aircraft's
hold.
[6
Aug
2002]
An
elderly
South
African
widow
has
complained
for
years
about
her
electricity
meter
"spinning
like
a
top",
even
when
she
was
not
using
any
power
in
her
home.
Her
complaints
were
ignored
until
it
was
found
that
three
street
lights
outside
her
flat
had
been
connected
to
her
power
supply.
[2
Aug
2002]
Maxine
Christensen,
81,
is
the
Burlington
Liars
Club
World
Champion
Liar
2001
for
having
told
police
her
car
was
so
old
the
state
issued
it
with
upper
and
lower
plates.
The
contest
is
open
to
all
except
politicians
-
the
club
says
it
isn't
fair
to
let
professionals
compete.
[2
Jan
2002]
A
mother
dobbed
in
her
son
when
he
and
a
companion,
on
the
run
from
a
Florida
jail,
were
pulled
over
by
police
for
a
spot
check.
Jason
Hall's
mother
drove
past,
spotted
her
son
and
Jason
Negma
and
immediately
told
the
police
that
they
were
on
the
run.
[27
Dec
2001]
Children
at
a
Texas
shopping
centre
don't
wait
in
line
to
talk
to
Santa,
they
get
summoned
by
mobile
phones.
Youngsters
are
given
phones
when
they
arrive
at
the
North
Star
Mall,
and
are
called
when
St
Nick
has
a
free
lap.
[22
Dec
2001]
"Cows
are
just
like
everybody
else,"
says
farmer
John
Marshman
of
Chenango
County,
US,
who
has
installed
75
water
beds
in
his
barn
for
his
cows.
Cow
water
beds
surround
the
cow
in
cushy
softness
while
supporting
it
when
it
lies
down.
[20
Dec
2001]
A
German
man
who
lit
a
fire
under
his
car
to
"thaw
it
out"
after
the
vehicle
failed
to
start
ended
up
with
a
gutted
wreck
when
the
car
burst
into
flames.
The
78-year-old
lit
a
pile
of
paper
towels
in
a
metal
box
and
put
it
under
the
engine
and
fuel
tank.
The
man
was
unhurt.
[18
Dec
2001]
Polish
bakers
have
used
three
tonnes
of
ingredients,
including
6000
eggs,
to
build
what
they
hope
is
the
world's
largest
gingerbread
house.
The
three-and-half-metre-high
house
was
built
with
4000
gingerbread
loaves
shaped
like
bricks
and
cemented
with
icing.
[11
Dec
2001]
An
Indonesian
public
servant
who
called
in
sick
for
the
past
six
years
is
under
investigation.
"I
am
surprised
the
office
was
not
aware
or
pretended
that
they
did
not
know,"
a
government
minister
said.
[8
Dec
2001]
Members
of
Dane
Street
Church
in
Beverly,
Massachusetts,
had
been
trying
to
get
rid
of
an
old
safe.
They
put
it
in
a
rumage
sale,
then
left
it
on
the
foot-path
unaware
the
church's
silver,
worth
$A48,400,
was
inside.
An
artist
took
the
safe,
found
the
silver
and
returned
it.
[20
Nov
2001]
A
mother,
frustrated
that
a
loan
office
in
Pennsylvania
would
not
believe
that
her
debtor
son
was
dead,
posted
them
the
cremation
certificate
and
two
teaspoons
of
his
ashes
-
which
not
only
constituted
inadequate
proof
but
caused
a
full-scale
anthrax
panic.
[19
Nov
2001]
The
symphony
orchestra
of
the
Spanish
city
of
Seville
has
reprimanded
one
of
its
musicians
after
he
was
seen
reading
a
newspaper
during
a
performance
of
Il
Trovatore
by
Giuseppe
Verdi.
A
spectator
had
complained
about
the
musician's
"distracting"
behavior.
[15
Nov
2001]
A
group
in
France
has
called
for
debate
on
"the
right
to
urinate"
because
there
are
not
enough
free
toilets
for
the
down
and
out.
Free
public
toilets
in
most
towns
and
cities
have
been
replaced
by
coin-operated
ones.
[12
Nov
2001]
Officials
in
Utah,
a
state
that
once
allowed
polygamy,
are
upset
at
slogans
for
a
brewer's
new
Polygamy
Porter
beer
that
include
"Why
Have
Just
One!"
and
"Take
One
Home
For
the
Wives".
[9
Nov
2001]
"I
never
make
predictions.
I
never
have
and
I
never
will."
British
MInister
Tony
Blair's
bold
statement
is
one
of
the
gems
quoted
in
a
new
book
entitled:
Book
of
Political
Stupidity.
[5
Nov
2001]
A
passenger
rail
company
in
London
came
up
with
a
new
excuse
for
a
disruption
to
services
-
a
guard's
shoe
had
broken.
Amazed
passengers
were
told
the
problem
meant
that
a
peakhour
train
in
south
London
could
not
operate.
[2
Nov
2001]
Staff
at
a
Rosanna
chemist
took
a
very
long
time
to
find
a
customer's
developed
photographs
this
week.
They
were
found,
finally,
not
under
the
customer's
name,
but
filed
under
"Matt
Prince".
[27
Oct
2001]
A
Dutch
vet
was
fined
after
he
decided
to
show
a
cow
was
passing
flatulent
gas
by
igniting
the
gas.
The
cow
became
a
"fourlegged
flamethrower",
destroying
the
farm.
The
cow
was
unharmed.
[24
Oct
2001]
The
Earl
of
Devon
has
to
keep
his
157-year-old
tortoise,
Timothy,
closely
confined
when
ladies
with
painted
toenails
visit
his
English
estate.
"He
has
been
known
to
attack
their
toes,
mistaking
them
for
strawberries,"
the
earl
explained.
[22
Oct
2001]
New
York
artist
Cosimo
Cavallaro
has
a
vision
of
cheese.
Enough
to
blanket
a
house.
He
has
begun
coating
the
rooms
of
a
home
with
cheese
and
will
cover
it
inside
and
out
using
5000
kilograms.
[20
Oct
2001]
Scottish
socialite
Lady
Morton
is
raring
to
get
back
behind
the
wheel
despite
having
her
first
crash
after
74
years
on
the
road.
She
hit
a
traffic
island
in
her
new
car
-
a
100th
birthday
present.
[17
Oct
2001]
People
in
Athol,
Massachusetts,
will
vote
on
whether
to
allow
horses,
cats
and
dogs
to
join
their
owners
in
taverns
for
a
drink.
Patricia
Demarest
said
she
meant
the
petition
as
a
joke
and
didn't
realise
that
by
law
it
had
to
be
acepted.
[15
Oct
2001]
A
spelling
mistake
-
"montherland"
-
on
a
statue
marking
Hong
Kong's
return
to
Chinese
rule
has
been
spotted
by
a
passerby
four
years
after
it
was
erected.
[11
Oct
2001]
Authorities
in
Cologne,
Germany,
have
set
up
drive-in
brothels
to
move
the
red-light
district
away
from
Cologne's
landmark
cathedral.
At
the
new
zone,
on
the
city's
outskits,
clients
use
a
covered
parking
space
adjoining
a
bedroom
and
shower.
[8
Oct
2001]
Bali
farmers
face
fines
for
not
taking
part
in
the
weekly
rat
hunt
villagers
have
organised
to
combat
the
growing
problem
the
vermin
are
causing.
Each
rat
caught
brings
a
1000
rupiah
(11
cents)
reward.
Absentees
from
the
chase
are
fined
10,000
rupiah.
[28
Sep
2001]
Thomas
Rokosky
used
a
tin
of
ravioli
to
intimidate
a
shopkeeper
in
a
robbery
bid
in
Harrison
Township,
Pennsylvania.
He
was
partly
successful.
The
man
was
terrified
-
but
so
much
so
that
he
couldn't
open
the
till.
[21
Sep
2001]
The
South-end-on-Sea
council
in
Britain
has
withdrawn
the
SS
insignia
it
issued
to
its
parking
inspectors
after
complaints
that
the
letters
too
closely
resembled
the
insignia
of
Hitler's
SS
troops.
[20
Sep
2001]
Auckland
police
rushed
to
a
city
phone
box
after
a
call
from
a
trapped
man.
On
the
way
they
got
another
call
as
the
man
panicked.
They
found
he
had
been
pulling
the
door
instead
fo
pushing
it.
[18
Sep
2001]
King
Bhumibol
Adulyadej
has
approved
a
trophy
for
Thailand's
first
elephant
polo
tournament
in
aid
of
elephant
conservation.
Australia,
Nepal,
Thailand,
Sri
Lanka
and
Singapore
will
compete.
[17
Sep
2001]
A
Florida
woman
found
a
nest
of
squirrels
under
the
bonnet
of
her
car
when
she
was
checking
why
her
windscreen
washer
fluid
tank
was
empty.
The
squirrels
had
made
a
home
next
to
the
tank,
which
had
a
gnawed
hole
in
it.
[12
Sep
2001]
More
than
100
Londoners
have
set
the
world's
"most
annoying"
world
record
-
by
allowing
their
mobile
phones
to
ring
in
unison
in
Leicester
Square.
The
cacophony
drowned
out
the
London
hustle
and
bustle.
[8
Sep
2001]
An
81-year-old
woman
sat
naked
as
she
was
convicted
of
arson
in
Nelson,
British
Columbia.
Mary
Braun
belongs
to
the
Sons
of
Freedom
Doukhobour
sect,
which
uses
public
nudity
and
arson
to
renounce
material
possessions,
according
to
a
Canadian
newspaper.
[3
Sep
2001]
Tanya
Holland
was
shocked
when
she
got
her
Yorkshire
Electricity
bill
which
said
she
owed
$AU
5.79
billion
and
that
her
meter
would
be
reset
so
she
could
gradually
pay
off
the
debt.
Her
address
had
been
mistaken
for
the
McAlpine
Stadium
nearby.
[29
Aug
2001]
A
porn
actress,
a
camel,
a
politician
and
a
market
analyst
took
part
in
a
German
TV
contest
to
pick
the
best
shares
portfolio
(the
camel
picking
her
shares
with
nose
nudges).
The
actress
proved
the
most
succcessful,
followed
by
the
camel
and
then
the
analyst.
[27
Aug
2001]
A
naked
man
wandering
near
a
cinema
led
US
police
to
his
marijuana
crop
after
the
officer
writing
a
ticket
for
indecent
exposure
asked
him
what
he
did
for
a
living,
and
he
replied
he
grew
marijuana
"for
fun
and
profit".
[25
Aug
2001]
Fifty
pastry
chefs
in
the
Italian
town
of
Oretano
showed
their
love
for
Ferrari
by
making
a
racing
car
from
40,000
cream
pies
decorated
with
almond
paste,
custard
cream
and
chocolate.
It
was
a
five-metre-long
version
of
Michael
Schumacher's
formula
one
car.
[22
Aug
2001]
Bangkok's
Governor
Samak
Sundaravej
has
come
up
with
a
curse
for
the
city's
rubbish
bins
to
halt
a
rash
of
thefts.
A
warning,
"If
a
person
illegally
takes
a
bin
to
his
house
his
family
will
face
ruin",
will
be
written
on
bins.
[20
Aug
2001]
A
Canberra
beautician
has
set
a
world
record
by
waxing
77
bikini
lines
in
four
hours
at
a
top
London
salon.
While
on
a
working
holiday
Deanne
Ware,
27,
cut
a
swathe
through
an
assortment
of
models,
dancers
and
passersby
last
weekend.
[16
Aug
2001]
A
Malaysian
coconut
grower
who
hired
a
trained
macaque
to
pick
his
coconuts
was
killed
when
the
monkey
dropped
one
on
his
head
from
a
tree.
Mamat
Kundur,
59,
was
killed
instantly
in
the
accident
at
his
coconut
plantation
in
Kelantan
state.
[15
Aug
2001]
An
elderly
man,
having
forgotten
the
key
to
his
steering
wheel
lock,
drove
five
kilometres
with
the
lock
on
before
crashing
his
car
into
a
house
in
Bath,
England.
Aubrey
Offer,
87,
pleaded
guilty
to
careless
driving.
[13
Aug
2001]
A
grieving
chicken
has
started
impersonating
a
cockerel
after
its
mate
was
killed
by
a
fox.
Miss
Millie,
a
rare
Frizzled
Polish
variety,
has
taken
to
crowing
at
dawn
and
strutting
around
the
farmyard
in
Somerset,
England,
like
a
proud
male.
[10
Aug
2001] [More
on
Miss
Millie
at
Chickens
in
the
News
(page
7)]
Tourist
authorities
in
north-east
Scotland
have
appealed
for
the
return
of
a
signpost
for
a
tiny
village
called
Lost.
The
signpost
is
one
of
the
most
sought-after
photo
opportunities
for
tourists.
But
the
novelty
has
also
proved
popular
with
thieves,
who
have
robbed
the
village
of
its
identity.
[8
Aug
2001]
A
Belgian
therapist
is
encouraging
his
clients
to
beat
him
up
in
a
bid
for
them
to
relieve
stress.
During
the
half-hour
sessions,
he
wears
body
armor
while
his
clients
give
him
a
good
kicking.
[4
Aug
2001]
A
former
Hooters
waitress
in
Panama
City,
Florida,
has
sued
the
restaurant
saying
she
was
promised
a
new
Toyota
for
winning
a
beer
sales
contest.
Instead,
she
said,
she
won
a
new
toy
Yoda
-
the
little
green
alien
from
the
Star
Wars
movies.
[31
Jul
2001]
A
Texas
gunman's
prosthetic
arm
fell
off
when
he
used
it
to
brandish
a
weapon
while
demanding
more
beer
at
an
El
Paso
tavern,
according
to
police.
The
man
had
threatened
employees
of
the
bar
with
an
air
gun.
He
has
been
charged
with
aggravated
assault.
[27
Jul
2001]
A
17-year-old
Canadian
youth
who
lobbed
a
water-filled
balloon
at
his
teacher
on
the
last
day
of
classes
at
an
Ontario
high
school
has
been
charged
with
assault
with
a
weapon.
He
faces
up
to
two
years
in
custody.
The
boy's
mother
said
the
charge
was
"ludicrous".
[26
Jul
2001]
An
Irish
robber
gave
himself
away
by
lifting
his
mask
to
greet
people
he
recognised
as
he
went
to
raid
a
shop
next
to
his
childhood
home.
He
was
so
drunk
he
couldn't
find
his
way
out
of
the
Drogheda
shop
after
the
raid.
The
Age
21
Jul
2001
Some
British
youngsters
believe
that
if
they
close
their
eyes
during
sex
they
will
not
get
pregnant,
a
survey
of
doctors
has
revealed.
Other
teenagers
believe
girls
can
avoid
pregnancy
if
they
stand
on
a
phone
book,
drink
milk
during
sex
or
jump
up
and
down
after
it.
[18
Jul
2001]
When
her
eight
ducklings
fell
through
a
grate
into
a
Vancouver
sewer,
the
mother
knew
what
to
do
-
she
fetched
a
policeman.
Patrolman
Ray
Peterson
pushed
her
away
when
first
she
grabbed
his
leg.
But
she
was
persistent.
The
ducklings
were
lifted
to
safety
in
a
vegetable
strainer.
[16
Jul
2001]
An
English
church
verger
has
appealed
for
women
in
his
parish
to
donate
a
length
of
their
used
knicker
elastic
to
mend
a
broken
church
clock.
David
Lord
said
a
45-centimetre
length
of
elastic
would
allow
him
to
recondition
the
100-year-old
motorised
timepiece.
[12
Jul
2001]
Every
Sunday
for
the
past
three
years,
Petra
the
dog
has
walked
26
kilometres
on
her
own
to
attend
church.
During
Mass,
the
Portuguese
dog
stands
and
sits
as
required.
When
the
service
is
over,
Petra
either
walks
home
or
rides
in
a
car.
[11
Jul
2001]
More
than
1000
men
have
gathered
in
the
Italian
town
of
Viareggio
to
campaign
for
their
right
to
be
househusbands.
"Men
have
a
natural
disposition
towards
housework,"
said
Lorenzo
Bresciani,
promoter
of
the
first
conference
on
men
who
work
at
home.
[10
Jul
2001]
Danny
the
chimpanzee
has
taken
up
tennis
at
Twycross
Zoo
in
England.
He
became
hooked
after
seeing
Wimbledon
on
a
keeper's
TV
near
his
cage.
Bemused
staff
gave
him
his
own
racquet
and
balls
-
and
were
stunned
when
he
began
hitting
forehands
against
a
wall.
[9
Jul
2001]
A
Swedish
man,
blind
in
one
eye
and
partially
sighted
in
the
other,
has
lost
an
appeal
for
a
half-price
television
licence.
His
appeal
was
rejected
because
the
law
decrees
television
is
funded
by
a
non-flexible
fee.
The
national
association
of
the
blind
is
negotiating
to
change
this.
[6
Jul
2001]
Four
in
10
Italian
office
workers
have
had
"affectionate
relations"
at
work,
according
to
a
new
survey.
Nearly
80
per
cent
of
them
said
they'd
worked
twice
as
hard
during
the
affair.
"Is
your
mouse
broken?"
-
an
excuse
for
hand
stroking
-
was
the
favorite
pick
up
line.
[3
Jul
2001]
An
Indian
flight
purser
has
been
grounded
for
having
a
handlebar
moustache.
"I
never
dreamt
of
trimming
it
...
my
moustache
attracted
many
adoring
eyes
inside
the
planes
and
on
the
ground,"
said
Victor
Joynath
De.
[30
Jun
2001]
Gary
Sharp,
of
Marlinton,
West
Virginia,
plans
to
be
a
best
man,
groom
and
father
of
the
bride
on
the
same
day.
On
July
28
he
will
be
his
son's
best
man,
then
he
will
marry
Darlene
Chiocco
and,
following
their
ceremony,
he
will
give
away
his
daughter
Amanda.
[28
Jun
2001]
A
man
cruising
the
red-light
district
of
the
German
town
of
Aachen
was
surprised
to
run
into
his
wife,
who
was
working
as
a
prostitute.
Prostitution
is
not
illegal
in
Germany
but
police
had
to
calm
a
row
between
the
couple
after
the
encounter.
[27
Jun
2001]
An
army
of
15,000
ducks
has
proved
faster
and
more
environmentally
friendly
than
sprays
in
fighting
a
locust
plague
in
China's
Xinjiang
region.
Government
officials
found
the
ducks
cleared
locusts
faster
than
expensive
insecticides.
[25
Jun
2001]
A
70-year-old
man
was
saved
by
a
vacuum
cleaner
after
choking
on
a
mochi,
a
traditional
Japanese
rice
cake.
When
his
daughter
realised
he
was
choking,
she
used
the
vacuum
to
dislodge
the
cake.
[23
Jun
2001]
Spotted
on
a
Melbourne
company's
bulletin
board
promoting
Health
and
Safety
Week
program:
Healthy
eating
in
the
canteen
...
followed
by
a
first
aid
seminar.
[20
Jun
2001]
Britain's
employment
ministry
is
offering
alarm
clocks
to
jobless
18
to
24-year-olds
to
help
them
get
up
in
the
morning
and
look
for
work.
[8
Apr
1998]
A
frustrated
Sydney
cyclist
named
Manuela
Crank
was
let
off
with
a
court
warning
for
painting
bicycle
lane
symbols
on
a
busy
Redfern
street.
[1
Apr
1998]
A
London
fish
shop
closed
for
11
hours
after
the
owner
found
a
2.8
metre,
68
kilo
conger
eel
alive
and
angry
in
a
box
of
fish
he
was
unpacking.
[26
Mar
1998]
The
library
in
Burlington,
North
Carolina,
plays
it
tough
-
it
has
asked
police
to
arrest
more
than
60
people
for
failing
to
return
books.
[25
Mar
1998]
Winnipeg
firefighters
trying
to
build
a
firefighters'
museum,
have
hit
a
snag
-
their
site,
an
old
fire
hall,
doesn't
meet
fire
safety
standards.
[24
Mar
1998]
British
MPs
will
be
rewarded
for
getting
on
their
bikes
-
they
will
receive
6.2
pence
(AU
16¢)
for
every
mile
pedalled
on
parliamentary
business.
[23
Mar
1998]
A
Welshman
is
moving
his
garden
gate
2.7
metres
so
the
distance
to
his
sons'
school
is
more
than
2.4
kilometres
and
they
get
free
transport.
[18
Mar
1998]
A
Californian
biscuit
thief
says
police
devised
"the
most
degrading"
punishment
imaginable:
listening
to
a
cop
sing
Escape,
the
Pina
Colada
Song.
[13
Mar
1998]
Two
Welsh
Elvis
Presley
fans
have
won
a
court
case
to
force
their
opera-loving
neighbor
to
turn
his
music
down.
[12
Mar
1998]
Signs
displayed
around
Melbourne
University's
Department
of
Criminology
building
warn
visitors
and
staff
to
lock
offices
and
take
care
of
valuables
after
a
series
of
thefts.
[7
Mar
1998]
A
dog
sentenced
to
death
by
a
Tanzanian
court
for
having
an
offensive
name
has
been
executed.
But
"Immigration"
was
spared
the
noose
and
was
shot
instead.
[6
Mar
1998]
A
British
firm
has
landed
a
stinking
job
printing
20,000
children's
books
-
Pooey
Zoo
and
Stinky
School
-
that
smell
of
dung,
school
dinners
and
sweaty
socks.
[5
Mar
1998]
A
Sudanese
engineer
says
he
has
invented
a
way
to
protect
Arab
mobile
telephone
users
from
radiation
by
adding
chemicals
to
their
traditional
headdress.
[3
Mar
1998]
The
Hollywood
Wax
Museum
has
moved
its
likeness
of
Mike
Tyson
from
its
Sports
Hall
of
Fame
to
the
Chamber
of
Horrors,
next
to
Hannibal
"The
Cannibal"
Lecter.
[3
Jul
1997]
A
Belfast
court
has
ruled
in
a
damages
claim
that
a
butcher
fell
off
a
bar
stool
because
he
had
drunk
12
vodkas
and
four
pints
of
beer
and
not
because
the
stool
was
too
high.
[2
Mar
1998]
In
a
bid
to
woo
the
growing
animal
rights
lobby,
a
Liberal
MP
seeking
re-election
to
the
Danish
parliament
says
the
country's
11
million
pigs
should
be
given
toys.
[27
Feb
1998]
A
candidate
in
coming
Philippine
elections
was
rudely
surprised
while
shaking
hands
with
a
crowd
when
one
of
the
supposed
well-wishers
made
off
with
his
watch.
[24
Feb
1998]
A
Hawaii
state
legislative
committee
is
willing
to
legalise
cockfighting
-
as
long
as
the
fighting
roosters
wear
tiny
boxing
gloves
into
the
ring.
[20
Feb
1998]
String
will
be
essential
equipment
at
ACT
polling
booths
on
Saturday
-
lengths
will
be
used
to
check
how
close
workers
can
stand
to
distribute
how-to-vote
cards.
[18
Feb
1998]
French
toilet
paper
that
carries
small
articles
on
French
culture,
current
affairs
and
geography
is
being
bought
at
three
times
the
rate
of
normal
toilet
paper.
[16
Feb
1998]
