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Generic Last Rites

"I see by your outfit you may be a preacher."

"Yes, I am, - of the non-theistic, non-sectarian sort." [...]

"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen"

-- Roger Zelazny: Creatures of Light and Darkness

[See also: the Worshippers-'R'-Us sketch by the Frantics]

From The Road to Mars by Eric Idle:

From The Radio Beasts by Ralph Milne Farley, originally published in Argosy All-Story Weekly, 1925.

L.E. Modesitt, Jr., [The Magic of Recluse]

From Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic:

From Terry Pratchett, A Hatful of Sky (Corgi, 2005, ISBN 9780552551449):

From Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith (Doubleday, 2007, ISBN 9780385609845):

From Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight (Doubleday, 2010, ISBN 9780485611077):

From The State of the Art by Iain M. Banks:

From Pamela Sargent (Ed.), More Women of Wonder:

From Chung Kuo Book Eight: Marriage of the Living Dark by David Wingrove.

From R. A. MacAvoy, The Third Eagle:

From Lois McMaster Bujold, The Warriors's Apprentice:

From Lois McMaster Bujold, The Vor Game:

From Lois McMaster Bujold, Cetaganda:

From Lois McMaster Bujold, Brothers in Arms:

From Esther Friesner (editor), Chicks in Chainmail:

From Lois McMaster Bujold, Mirror Dance:

From Esther Friesner (editor), Did You Say 'Chicks'?!:

From Esther Friesner (editor), The Chick is in the Mail (Baen Books, 2000):

From Lois McMaster Bujold, Komarr:

From Lois McMaster Bujold, A Civil Campaign:

From Quarantine by Greg Egan (Century, 1992):

From Schild's Ladder by Greg Egan (Gollancz, 2002):

From The Eternal Flame (Orthogonal Trilogy book 2) by Greg Egan (Gollancz, 2012):

From The Golden Torc by Julian May (Pan Books, 1981):

From Jack the Bodiless by Julian May (Pan Books, 1992):

From Perseus Spur [Rampart Worlds Book 1] by Julian May (Voyager [HarperCollins], 1998):

From Orion Arm [Rampart Worlds Book 2] by Julian May (Voyager [HarperCollins], 1999):

From The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold (Voyager [imprint of Harper Collins], London 2002):

From Paladin of Souls by Lois McMaster Bujold (Voyager [imprint of Harper Collins], London 2004):

From The Algebraist by Iain M. Banks (Orbit 2004)

From Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson (Penguin, UK, 1993):

From Terry Pratchett, Making Money (TransWorld, an imprint of Random House, 2007):

From Randall Garrett, Unwise Child (Doubleday, NY, 1962):

From Robert Tralins, Android Armageddon (Paramount Books, 1974):

From Clifford D. Simak, Strangers in the Universe [Short Stories] (Faber & Faber, London, 1959):

From Iain M. Banks, Against a Dark Background (Orbit, 2007):

From Harry Harrison & Marvin Minsky, The Turing Option (Viking, 1992):

From Nick Pollotta & James Clay, That Darn Squid God (Double Dragon Press, 2007, ISBN 978-1-55404-519-8):

From Asgard by Nigel Frith, (Unicorn [Unwin Paperbacks], 1982, ISBN 0049232092):

From Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand (Corgi, 2010, ISBN 9780552562799):

From Jonathan Stroud, The Golem's Eye (Corgi, 2010, ISBN 9780552562812):

From Jonathan Stroud, Ptolemy's Gate (Corgi, 2010, ISBN 9780552562805):

From Jonathan Stroud, The Ring of Solomon (Corgi, 2010, ISBN 9780385619165):

From Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (Bloomsbury, 2009, ISBN 9781608190867):

From Captain Vorpatril's Alliance by Lois McMaster Bujold (Baen, 2012, ISBN 9781451638455):

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